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Eight ideas for fun and memorable at home date nights.

Once you have identified the basics of what is needed to make your date night great cheap priligy uk, you’re ready to get planning. Here are a few ideas that we’ve enjoyed. I’d love to hear about your awesome at home date nights in the comments.

1) Dinner Chez Vous

Usually we try to all eat dinner together as a family. But one night a week we feed the kids first, and then we have a special dinner once they are in bed. Often I can even get the kids down a bit earlier than usual, by going straight from dinner to bath and making the bath extra special.

While one of us is getting the kids down, the other one is getting ready.
To set the mood, evidence of kids and work is put out of sight, the table is set, and something slow and jazzy is on the turn table (David Miles plays for lovers is a favourite). A beverage is poured so that it can be handed with a kiss to the heroic parent who managed to get the kids down as soon as he/she arrives.

For the food, we like something quick to prepare, but still special (i.e., not the leftovers from whatever we fed the kids).

Some of the meals we’ve enjoyed:

  • A charcuterie board with nice wine
  • Take out sushi – buy a little bottle of sake to go with it and just warm it up in hot water (like you would a baby bottle). Also – remove the sushi from the take-out containers and put on plates for serving – the presentation is worth it.
  • Duck confit – this is great because the legs can be prepared ahead of time and frozen (or you can just buy ones already prepared). Then while the kids are sleeping, just put them in the oven with some roast potatoes, steam some veggies, add some cranberry sauce and presto – a delicious meal
  • Mussels and baguette – quick and easy to make and fun to eat

A fruit and cheese tray, chocolate fondue, or a slice of cake with two forks, all make for romantic desserts.

2) Retro Video Game night

Do you have a friend that has an old Nintendo or Atari system? Or can you rent one? Get a few of your favourite games and prepare for some serious thumb action.

We enjoyed doing this like when we were kids. This means pjs on, a bowl of penny candy between us, and sitting on the floor. Take it a step further, and put on the persona of your eight year old self, inserting words like narly, far out and cowabunga as appropriate.

3) Tripping on Miracle Berries

Maybe in your younger days you experimented a bit… Maybe you still do, or maybe you just wish you could… Enter the Miracle berry – a little tablet you dissolve on your tongue that makes food taste amazing. Specifically, they make sour and bitter foods taste sweet.

So order yourself a packet where can i buy priligy in usa, choose your favourite psychedelic music, and get to work on your tasting tray. We enjoyed lemons, limes, oranges, pineapple, blue berries, salt and vinegar chips, dark chocolate, pickles, tomatoes and cheese. Not the most appetizing blend of flavours, but fun to experiment with.

Did I mention, these are legal and you will be tasting as normal 30 minutes later? Just go easy on the acidity. Even if that lime tastes like it was plucked from the Garden of Eden, it’s still going to burn your mouth if you eat too much.

4) Beer tasting night

Traditionally, this is done with wine, but unless you are able to buy those cute little 300ml bottles of wine in a decent variety, it gets expensive pretty quickly. Enter the beer tasting night!

Advance preparation:

  • Select your beers – you could go for craft beers, or beers from a certain region of the world, or beers with the wonkiest picture on the can. Just make sure there is some variety in the type of taste. Six beers were a good number for us to have a variety of tastes, although we didn’t finish all of them.
  • Select your food – sausages, soft pretzels, beer nuts and cheese accompanied with mustards, and pickles, are no fuss and pair well with the beer.
  • Get your tasting instructions and cards ready – reliable medications buy priligy usa
  • Put the beer in your fridge

Day of:

  • Prep food
  • Chill your beers
  • Put on your desired music (You could even use this ready to gobuy priligy online usa)
  • Put water on the table to cleanse your pallet between beers

For the date:

  • Put on your choice of music
  • Serve your beers from lightest to darkest, only opening each one just before you are ready to drink. Some beers are best served after having sat outside the fridge for a bit – helpful info on this is buy priligy priligy uk
  • Use your beer tasting cards, to converse about the beers, and record your notes on your favourites
  • Potential after date follow-up: If you’ve discovered a local beer you love, make a plan to visit the brewery on one of your out of home date nights.

5) Spa Nights

Get the romance flowing with a facial, followed by a bath for two with champagne and wine, and finally, a massage complete with oils and candles. Or, depending on your time and inclination, you can treat each one as an individual date.

For the facial:
Here is a simple version you can do on your own:

Get towels and a face cloth ready for each of you and set out everything you will need for the facial – cleanser, scrub, mask, and moisturizer. A glass of cucumber or lemon infused water and a fruit tray to nibble on helps to set the mood along with some relaxing music. Get your pots of water ready to boil on the stove.

For the date:

Follow these steps for a facial that will take about 30 – 45 minutes.

  1. Cleanse: Remove any make-up or just impurities from the day.
  2. Exfoliate: Apply a gentle exfoliating scrub. You can buy one, or make your own from oatmeal, honey and olive oil (use two parts oatmeal to one part honey and one part olive oil). Up the affection quotient by applying each other scrub.
  3. Steam: Once your pots of water are boiling carefully move them to the table, placing them on hot mats. Add a few drops of essential oils – lavender is nice. Each sit with your face over one pot, draping a towel over your head and around the bowl to keep the steam in. Do this for ten minutes, breathing in the steam and relaxing to the music.
  4. Apply a mask: Typically you will keep a mask on for 10 – 20 minutes. Put it on and then move to a comfortable spot to relax, while you wait, remembering to put a towel down where your head will goto avoid transferring bits of your mask to the furniture. Follow the instructions on the mask for how long to leave it. Rinse off completely.
  5. Apply your moisturizer: Again – you can do this for each other, and marvel and compliment the smoothness of partner’s skin.

More tips on how to do an at home, spa-like facial, can be buy priligy priligy online uk.

For the bath for two:


  • Fill the tub – the water should not be hotter than 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Add some bubbles or essential oils.
  • Put a bowl of fruit (strawberries are nice) and two glasses of bubbly within reach.
  • Get your towels and bath robes ready for afterwards.
  • Put on some relaxing music and light a few candles.

For the date:

  • Either sit facing each other (great for giving each other a foot rub), or stomach to back
  • Relax, enjoying the warm water, champagne and fruit.
  • Finish with a shower for two, giving each other a head to toe body scrub.

For the massage:


  • Watch a youtube video about some basic massage techniques and flow of the massage.
  • Line where ever you are going to be giving the massage with towels to avoid transferring oils
  • Put on some soft music and light some candles
  • Get your massage oils ready

For the date:

  • Take turns, giving and receiving the massage
  • Remember to comment on how much you enjoy connecting with your partner’s body, as you massage, and when it’s your turn to receive the massage, mention how nice it feels.

6) Board Game Night

Since having kids, we spend a lot of evenings playing board games together. A few snacks and drinks, paired with some games that work well for two players make a great evening. Our favourites have been:

  • Monopoly Deal or No Deal – a card game that can be played in 15 minutes, based on the traditional Monopoly Game.
  • Rivals of Catan – a two player strategy game, based on settlers of Catan
  • 7 Wonders Duel – another two player strategy game, a little more complicated to learn, but once you have it down, makes for great fun
  • Bounce Off – for when you want something light, silly and fun

7) Learn a New Skill

Thanks to youtube, you no longer need to head out to your local community centre for a six week course to learn a new skill. There are online tutorials for a wide range of activities – drawing, knitting, dancing, even buy priligy priligy online. Why not look a few up and learn a new skill together?

8) TV Night:

Ok – so I know I said slumping together in front of the TV wasn’t going to cut it, but there are nights, when the week has been crazy, or one of you is a bit under the weather, and all you really want to do is veg out in front of the TV. Bring a bit more magic to these times, by snuggling together under a blanket, share a bowl of popcorn, or enjoy a special drink. You might even be able to come up with a special ritual for a favourite show, if you care more about having a few laughs together than looking ridiculous. My hubby is a lover of sci-fi, so we watched the entire Fringe series. During the theme song of each episode we performed a ridiculous made up dance together. While I don’t care much for sci-fi myself, I hung in for all the episodes mainly because I didn’t want to miss the dance. For Westworld (which I honestly did enjoy), we created ridiculous outfits from the junk in our house, that we wore while watching it. Yes – it’s silly, and I would never want anyone else to see me in it, but it was something unique and special we shared that resulted in some laughs and treasured memories.

Hopefully these ideas have sparked your imagination. I’d love to hear about some of your awesome at home date nights.

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Set the scene for a great date night at home.
Set the scene for a great date night at home.

Several years ago, while spending a few days in deep reflection, I realized that my relationship with my husband was central to how satisfied I could be with my life. Everything else radiated out from that one core element. And once I admitted that, I also admitted that between the business of work and kids, I wasn’t doing enough to keep our relationship at it’s best. One part of that was spending quality time together. So we got a babysitter and started date night. And we had a great time. However, date night is expensive, so it only happened every few weeks and that wasn’t enough… we needed to find a way to create more date nights at home. And the two of us slumped together in front of the TV was not the type of quality time we needed.

I got to thinking about all the awesome things we used to do together before we had kids and were free to go anywhere and realized that many of our favourite times were when we were sharing a new adventure, or learning a new skill, or discovering something new about each other, or doing something that was helping us really connect and get closer as a couple.

So we needed to come up with some ideas that would create those types of experiences, within the convenience of our own home.

And you know what? With a little effort and planning, we’ve creating some favourite new memories, that took place at home, at limited expense and that left us feeling like we had put a little more power into our relationship. And yes, some of the ideas might be a bit silly, bordering on ridiculous, but did you know it’s a scientifically proven fact that people that aren’t afraid to get a bit silly have more fun?

Before I share the ideas, I want to share a few things we do regardless of what’s on the agenda, to create the canvas for a great night…

Getting Set up For Great Date Night At Home

It’s just the two of you

Remember when you first started dating, and you were so enthralled with each other that you actually didn’t really want to go to events with other people, because you wanted to save all your energy and attention for your significant other? Well, that’s the kind of focus we’re going for on date night. If you have young kids, hopefully they’re in bed at a reasonable time and you can just commence your date afterwards. If they’re older, then try to create some space by making a special night for them too with something that will keep them occupied for a while – I’m not a big fan of hours in front of the TV, but when it’s for the good of their parents relationship, I think the positive effect of happy, connected parents is going to cancel out the negative effect from a bit of TV, if that is the best way of getting some alone time.

Set the mood

It may not be possible to get the house tidy, but in whatever part of the house you are having your date night, take a few minutes to clean up toys/things laying around, even if you are just throwing it all into a box temporarily. Put on some music you both enjoy. Get a fire going or maybe light a few candles. If you have a special set of dishes, this is the time to get them out. Add a favourite treat or beverage and you are ready to go.

Dress for a date

Changing your clothes will help you transition from work or kid time, to couple time. Appropriate dress, might be suit and tie and cocktail dress, or it might be your pyjamas. But take the time to do it – the act of shedding your clothes from the day, also helps you put aside stresses and challenges you encountered and may still be carrying with you.

Demonstrate Affection

This article from best place to buy priligy about the importance of touch says that “Tactile physical affection is highly correlated with overall relationship and partner satisfaction.” For us, we are just so busy sometimes, we forget to touch. But when I am on a date night, I try to make an extra effort to be physically affectionate – a kiss before we sit down to eat, a gentle touch on the back, touching toes under the table, or leaning into each other on the couch.


Agree to turn off your phones and not check email during your date and just give one another your attention. If you mind is busy worrying about work, or the kids, or life in general, try to put those thoughts aside for the time you are spending together.

Be committed

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that because it’s a date night at home and there is no babysitter it’s flexible. And to some extent that’s true. But be careful not to let the latest work emergency push aside quality time with your partner.

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Get free printables to help create a monthly meal plan and shopping list

buy generic levitra with priligy The cornerstone of this is a monthly meal plan and grocery shop.

When I experimented with this a few years ago, I had doubts it would be possible and wasn’t sure it was even desirable. But with a few years of this approach under my belt, not only is it doable, but the benefits have been far greater than anticipated. Specifically:

  • We eat healthier through setting and sticking to eating goals
  • Our footprint is smaller through eating local, in season foods
  • We save money by buying bulk, taking advantage of flyer specials, and having less food waste
  • We conserve our energy by not using it in daily small decisions on what we are going to eat, and then rushing to get food on the table
  • We gain tonnes of time by batching meal planning, grocery shopping, food prep and cooking
  • There are less hanger meltdowns from our little guys, because we get dinner on the table on time
  • We include friends in our meals more frequently
  • And all that advance planning, means our meals are much more delicious!

It is daunting to first consider, but in this post I’ll take you through the principles, tools and steps I use, and also share some handy printables to  get you started.

The Principles:

1) Make it fun!
Eating food is fun. Thinking about what you are going to eat should be fun too! Make meal planning a date with yourself, where you go to a favourite coffee shop, treat yourself to a beverage and/or listen to some enjoyable music. The first few times you do it, expect that it will take more time and brain energy. But once you have the basic framework, it should take less than 90 minutes to come up with the plan, link the recipes, and make a shopping list. I consider my meal planning done when I’ve ordered my groceries for pick-up on a particular date and time.

2) Assume you will only be doing one big grocery shop that month
This might sound like an impossibly long time if you are currently grocery shopping every week, but you can make it work and reap all the benefits. Just think of all the time and energy you will save by not constantly running back and forth to the grocery store, standing in the check out line, unloading groceries, making space in the fridge and then putting everything away… Ugghh! Just writing that out was exhausting!

Sometimes it is worthwhile to plan for a secondary pick of groceries partway through the month, particularly in the summer when there are so many nice fruits and veggies in season. If doing this, create the mid month shopping list at the same time as you do the monthly meal plan. If you are ordering your groceries online, you can go a step further and create your order so that when you are ready you just need to click a few buttons and stop by the store for pick-up.

And remember, a plan is just a plan. If you get a hankering for some juicy peaches part way through the month, go get some!

3) Create Your Meal Plan Framework
Remove some of the decision making by creating a framework of the types of food you will eat each day of the week, based on your eating goals for the month and how much time you have to prepare food each day of the week. More on this below.

4) Involve Others
Consult with others in the family on what they might like to eat that month or when they will be able to help share the cooking load. Letting your kids plan what you will eat for a few meals, from the main dish, to the sides, to the dessert, is a great way to get them excited about what’s for dinner and learn about healthy choices. And if they are old enough they can help make it too!

5) Include Time With Friends
This has been maybe one of the best spin-offs from looking ahead at our meal plan. Once we had kids, we found it difficult to find time to get together with friends regularly. Now we have friends over for brunch and dinner a few times a month, and without stressing ourselves out.

6) Plan Around Seasons and Special Deals

Meal planning can help you take advantage of what’s in season and flyer specials. I use buy priligy generic as a guide to what’s in season and then our local flyers to identify feature foods for the month.

7) Use Your Freezer 
The freezer gets us through a month with only one grocery shop and gives me a few nights off from cooking each week. And it’s not all casseroles! We have a choice of things like stuffed chicken breasts, fish cakes, duck confit, and fish chowder and biscuits. I batch cook a few meals a month to replenish my freezer with quick, easy and delicious options.

8) If you love to cook
If you love to cook, make time for this in your meal plan. Choose a few days where you will be able to putter in the kitchen, or experiment with a new recipe. I love to unwind by perusing food blogs and Pinterest – when I find a recipe that I want to try, I just pin it to my Pinterest board and then review it when I am doing my meal planning.

9) Give yourself a break
A night where someone else gets the food on the table, fetches the oscillating requests for “Water! No milk! No water!”, and does the dishes is a mini vacation. At least once a week plan to get take-out, go to a restaurant, eat a freezer meal that just needs to be heated, or serve something straight from the package. One month my primary meal goal was to feed my kids take out or a pre-packaged food and not feel guilty about it. And honestly, when I look at all the good stuff I’m putting into their bodies over the rest of the month, I don’t need to feel bad about giving myself a few nights off.

The Tools:

For recording the plan:
Download these buy generic priligy online to guide you through the process the first few times. Once you’re comfortable with the approach, keeping your plan in the notes app on your smart phone is easy and convenient. Just number out the days, add a reminder of the meals you will be eating each day, and then paste the link to any recipes you are using so they are at your fingers tips when it’s time to cook.

For figuring out what to eat:

  • To identify what is in season I use buy generic viagra priligy online as well as the page for our local farmers market
  • For recipes I use Pinterest boards in categories like foods I want to try, vegetarian meals, freezer meals
  • For tracking what’s in my freezer, I again just use the notes app on my iPhone and update it as I put new items in and take items out. This is more convenient than my old practice of keeping the list on the freezer – I can easily consult it if out shopping or if I need to make a quick change to what we are eating that day.
  • Planning for a month, means that fresh meats and many of the fruits and vegetables will need to be eaten in the first two weeks. This infographic gives examples of the types of foods we are eating over the course of the month.

    buy priligy hydrochloride
    A guide to food ideas for a monthly meal plan and grocery shop

The Process

1) Pick a date and time when you will have a couple of hours to yourself
Either go somewhere where you will be in an atmosphere you enjoy or create some quiet time for yourself at home. Get yourself a special drink and favourite music to enjoy while you plan. Make it fun!

2) Create Your Meal Planning Framework
This framework is based on what a balanced diet looks like to you and how much time you want to spend preparing food each day of the week. The good news is you only need to do this once. Once you have a plan in place for how you want to eat, you can use the same framework as your starting point each month, tweaking as you go along.

To create your framework identify buy priligy in uk:

  • What are your eating goals? For example – how often do you want to be eating fish, vegetarian, chicken, or red meat? What variety of vegetables? Do you want to limit certain grains or starches?
  • What days are you short on time and need to be able to pull something from the freezer and just stick it into the microwave or oven?
  • Who cooks on what days? You don’t necessarily have to do it all. Is your husband, child, mother, father-in-law, etc willing to prepare some meals? Accepting help means you will have more time for the things (and people) you love!
  • Can you come up with a rotation of quick breakfast items you can lay out the night before? What about lunches?
  • What days do you have the time and desire to make a more involved meal or try a new recipe?
  • Will you stock your freezer with something home made this month? What days will you set aside to do this?
  • How often will you go to a restaurant or get take out? Don’t forget to give yourself a break!
  • Are there any special holidays, social events or anniversaries where you want to have a special meal?
  • Are there days where you would like to be able to have some friends over? Plan for this now.

From this you should be able to come up with a framework of the type of food you want to eat each day and how much time you have to prepare.

3) Review what’s in season and special deals

When I am starting my meal planning I first look at buy priligy in nigeria so that we can enjoy foods that are at their best that month and then review the flyers for specials I want to take advantage of.

4) Review and select the recipes I want to try this month

Cooking is a hobby I love, and one which I used to have trouble incorporating effectively. I would try new recipes, but they often took longer than I anticipated and then by the time supper was on the table the kids were cranky and I was tired. Now I’ve learned to limit myself to a few new recipes a month and to choose a day when I will have the time to pull them together without any hanger meltdowns.

5) Fill in Your Plan

Now that you have your framework of the type of food you want to eat when, you can just fill in the actual meals, paying attention to your eating goals for that month. Linking the recipes right in the plan will save time. I make my grocery list at the same time, which I just do in another notes page on my iPhone.

As you are planning for a month, plan your meals so that you are eating your foods with the shortest shelf life first, and then extending into those with a longer shelf life (e.g., carrots, apples, oranges), frozen meats, frozen fruits and veggies (just as nutritious as fresh), and dried and canned items.

When filling in the plan I find it easiest to start with the most limited choices and work my way up to the most open:

  1. No Cook Days: Identify the days that you will not be cooking due to that being a restaurant/take-out night or someone else is doing the cooking. Add this to your meal plan.
  2. Freezer Days: Review what’s in my freezer that we can have those days, or figure out what we will buy that can just be popped into the oven.
  3. Quick preparation days: These are days when I have a bit more time to pull a fresh cooked meal together. I typically use very simple recipes, or use recipes where most of the preparation can be done the night before or use my slow cooker.
  4. Guests coming for dinner: Figure out what you will be serving for these meals. If you love to cook, you might want to go all out, but don’t be afraid to keep it simple – the time together is more important than the food.
  5. Freezer stocking days: If you will be making some meals for your freezer, figure out what days you will do this and what you will make.
  6. Kitchen puttering days: Again – if you love to cook, make time in your meal plan to do this. Just be realistic about how much time (and energy) you will actually have to do this over the month. My first few monthly meal plans had some flops because I was too ambitious about what I wanted to cook that month.

6) Review Your Plan

Double check:

  • Will you meet your eating goals for this month by following this plan? If not, switch out some recipes.
  • Are your meals complete with any side dishes you want to include?
  • Are you eating fresh, frozen, dried etc ingredients at the right time?

7) Review Your Grocery List
Review the list of ingredients against what is in your cupboards. Add any additional items you need for snacks, breakfasts, lunches, or drinks and any household items (e.g., cleaning, toilet paper, pharmacy items, etc)

8) Decide When You Will Go Grocery Shopping
I go to Costco for bulk and order the rest of my groceries on line from Loblaws and then just pick them up on my way home from Costco.

9) Reward Yourself
Wow! If you’ve gone through all these steps and follow through on your plan you will save yourself a tonne of time and energy. Now all that effort you put in needs to be rewarded. How about a hot bath, a manicure, or time with a good book?

Note: Don’t discard your meal plan after the month. Keep it, make notes on what worked and what didn’t and use it as your starting point for the same month the next year.

Read more in this series:

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How much time each week do you spend meal planning, creating shopping lists, doing the shopping, unpacking groceries, preparing the food, and then cleaning up afterwards?

In my quest to become more efficient and claim back my life, I knew this was a potential gold mine. But it wasn’t until I actually processed mapped and timed every step involved in feeding my family that I realized how much time I was throwing away – and how I could get a lot of that time back by being more disciplined and deliberate in my meal planning and grocery shopping.

Right now, I meal plan once a month, grocery shop once a month, do one major food prep of a couple of hours a week, and then on a daily basis am able to spend most of my evening enjoying my kids and doing something for myself. We’ve also created more friend and extended family time around meals, and are saving money through less food waste, buying bulk items and taking advantage of flyer specials.

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The time I used to spend grocery shopping each month, versus now with monthly meal planning

In this series of posts, I’ll share just how I am saving a tonne of time and energy getting healthy and mostly delicious meals to the table.

The key principles are:

1) Meal planning – Once a month, for a month:

This is central to everything else. Initially it was onerous and painstakingly slow, but once I figured out a cycle to limit the items to choose from, it became much quicker. And as I make it a date for myself, also quite enjoyable. Having a monthly meal plan means you can take advantage of in season foods, flyer specials, have less food waste and avoid last minute rushing and stress in coming up with meals.

See the approach here.

2) Grocery shop once a month, for a month

This goes hand in hand with monthly meal planning and requires coordination with the next principle of freezer management. Only going to the grocery store once a month means only once a month am I driving there and back, standing in the check out, putting all the bags in the car, and then lugging all the bags out of the car, making room in the fridge and then putting all those groceries away. That’s a lot of steps! Especially if you are often dragging a couple of kids along with you. On average I’m getting back almost 6 hours of time for me by only making the trek once a month.

3) Get a deep freeze and use it effectively

Without my deep freeze, the whole approach would fall apart. It is what makes my once a month grocery shopping possible, and with complete meals ready to go, each week I get a few nights off from cooking. If you aren’t applying buy priligy online(choosing the right things to put in your freezer, knowing what’s in it, and being able to find it) you are likely wasting food and time, not to mention those frozen fingers.

4)  Routinize, routinize, routinize

Recently there has been lots of articles and priligy original buy over the course of the day – each decision or choice takes some of that capacity. This extends from really tough decisions, like how to restructure your company, to more mundane choices like whether to have oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast. One cornerstone of being more productive, has been to routinize or batch (as in monthly meal planning) these simpler choices, saving energy for the most important decisions.

If you can turn the simple activities and decisions you make around getting food on the table into habits you can reserve your energy for the big decisions in your life. Think about what routines you can put in place to simplify meal prep, meal time and clean-up.

5) Give yourself a night off

Not having to worry about getting food on the table a night or two a week can feel like a mini vacation. Give yourself permission to get take-out, serve something from freezer or even occasionally, straight from the package. And if you have someone who can share in the meal chores, or might even enjoy getting a meal ready for you, take advantage of that.

There are at least three nights a week and sometimes four, where I don’t have to worry about cooking, either because someone else is cooking for us, or I have something all ready to go.

6) Make the most of the time you are around the table with your family

This is the whole point isn’t it? We want to nourish our bodies, but also our souls with quality time together. In our house that means no work papers, computers or smartphones at the table, and for the kids, no toys. The focus is on the food and each other.

I hope these tips are helpful to you. I’d love to hear what you do to make feeding your family easier and enjoyable.


Read more in this series:

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I first heard (or read) the concept of Ikigai in where to buy priligy online by Neil Pasricha (Pasricha says Ikigai is pronounced “icky guy”). The Japanese believe everyone has an Ikigai, translated as your reason for being. Knowing your Ikigai and living in accordance with it brings happiness, satisfaction and meaning to life. Some have suggested it’s part of the reason why the Okinawa people of Japan live an average of seven years longer than Americans and have the longest disability-free life expectancy on Earth.

Pasricha shares that he and his partner each have their Ikigai written on a card and placed next to their beds as a reminder for why they get up in the morning. Identifying a single phrase that would serve as a reminder to live my day-to-day existence in sync within my bigger and longer term Ikigai was very attractive.

However, coming up with one phrase that really captures who I am and what I want my life to reflect took a lot more ruminating than expected – even when I’ve already done extensive work around identifying my passions, strengths, and life goals.

I started with a phrase about my top priority – raising my children. But this neglected other important facets like relationships, hobbies and, of course, work. Then I created a phrase about my purpose at work, but this again, was too restrictive.

Then, during a day of driving along the coast of beautiful Nova Scotia with my mom and youngest son, my Ikigai came to me. We had done a two hour drive to Advocate Harbour and had a delectable lunch at where to buy priligy. Afterwards we sat in the Adirondeck chairs sipping coffee while letting our eyes and ears meditate to the ocean. On our return journey, my mom dozed beside me, the baby was asleep in the back, and the afternoon sun reflected on the waves of the rocky Bay of Fundy coast. My heart felt so full and that’s when my Ikigai phase came to me:

To share the love in my heart, with as many people as possible each day.

It’s a “how” rather than a “what” and is broad enough to encompass family, work, hobbies and friendships. It allows for creativity and challenges me to seize the opportunity in the great range of human connection we have each day – everyone from my children and husband, to the man who opens the door for me at Starbucks. Importantly, being able to live my Ikigai, depends on my heart being full enough that I have love to give away. That means nourishing, and caring for myself so that the love continues to bloom.

My Ikigai is on a card now, beside my bed. I see it when I get up in the morning, and think about what I will do to live my Ikagai that day. At night before I go to sleep, I see it again and revisit my day and how true I was to my Ikagai. Maybe someday I will change it or reframe it, but for now it speaks the truth of what I want to contribute through my life.

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Whole_Life_ProductivityHow often do you find you make a commitment to do something, something for yourself or in support of a longer term life goal, only to find the day to day has taken over, and the choices you’ve made in how you spend your time, were made in the short term pressures of the moment, rather than the long term view?

More than once? Frequently over a long term period? Yup – me too…  And the sad thing about this, is that while we might be accomplishing a lot we probably are not making the most of our precious time and in turn, not living our best lives. In fact, you may have noted the nearly two year lapse in my blog posts where the date of the beginning of the two year lapse coincides with my return to work from my first maternity leave. Blog posts weren’t the only thing to suffer – commitments to exercise, spend quality time with hubby, and keep in contact with friends also fell by the wayside. After time was paid out to work, home chores, caring for children, etc, I found very little available to me and when I did have it, I lacked the brain power to be creative and do something meaningful – I needed the time simply to recover and typically in front of some brainless TV show.

Now on maternity leave for the second time, I’m looking to put the systems, frameworks, and principles in place that will allow more whole life productivity and happiness now and when I return to work – and use this blog as a place to capture my learnings.

What’s whole life productivity? My working definition is:

maximizing the return on the investment of your time by knowing what you want from your life overall and then making the day to day choices that align to that. And – at the same time, embracing and appreciating the many wonderful moments life has to offer by being present in the now.
I already have my life vision. Now I need to figure out how to make it happen. Using my training as a coach, I created the process below to identify the areas I need to focus on. The results – lots of insights and a re-energized belief that it is possible to have the life I want, right now. The process is laid out below, with the option to buy viagra online usa to guide and record your responses.

(Note: To help figure out a vision of what you want from life buy real viagra online usa before the process outlined below)

Step 1: The Components of Your Life

First identify the main categories of your life that make up the “Whole” part of “Whole Life Productivity”. Breaking them down this way recognizes we don’t care about all aspects equally and that we have different levels of skills, resources, tools and decision making power in the different categories ( e.g., work versus personal time). For me, the following were top of mind  (not in priority order) – you may have something different:

1) Work
2) Immediate family (e.g., spouse, kids, pets)
3) Friends/extended family/Social
4) Health (e.g., exercise, doctors appointments, eating healthy – I don’t particularly enjoy exercising so not personal time in my books and therefore the two needed to be separate categories. Also – while health is something I do for myself paying attention to it also invests in the future of my husband and children and employer. Looking at it this way, helps me not to de-prioritize it over the needs of others.
5) Personal (me time!! Hobbies, learning, growth, etc)

6) House/Home (e.g., chores, meals, shopping)

Step 2: Developing Insights

For each category I carried out A, B, and C steps below. I did just one category at a time, in one sitting and completed the full exercise in one week. At the end I had some clear insights and focus areas for moving forward.

Step 2A) What’s being achieved?  

Brainstorm on what is actually being accomplished in each of these categories. Pat yourself on the back! Then, for each item ask:
  • Is this something I should be spending my time on?  More specifically – is this something that needs to be done?
  • Is it something that I personally need to do or is there someone else that could do it? (e.g., your spouse, a willing in-law, a colleague if work related, can it be hired out? )
  • Is it an activity that I enjoy doing? If yes – it may be a reason to continue, even if it’s not essential.  For example: I personally make bread for my family. It’s not something I need to do – I can buy bread that’s as good and as healthy as that I make, but I do it because I enjoy it
  • Is there an opportunity to improve how this is done to optimize enjoyment or productivity?

Step 2B) What’s not being achieved?

For each of these activities again asked yourself:

  • Is this something I should be spending my time on? Is this something that is essential?
  • Is it something that I personally need to do or is there someone else that could do it?
  • Is it an activity that I would enjoy doing?
  • If this is activity is important and/or essential, what do I need to do to ensure it is getting done? (E.g., hire someone to do it, schedule time)
  • Is there an opportunity to improve how this is done to make it more enjoyable or efficient?

Step 2C) Stop, Start, Continue Action Plan

Reviewing the above results, summarize using STOP, START, CONTINUE

  • STOP: What am I currently doing that I need to stop doing?
  • START: What am I currently not going that I need to start doing?
  • CONTINUE: What am I currently doing that I should continue doing?

Step 3: Priorities/Focus Areas


At this point I had some good insights and was feeling energized about making some changes. But – I also know this is often my downfall, because I bite off more than I can actually achieve. So… I reviewed the STOP, START, CONTINUE to identify:
  • What actions can be taken immediately? For example, if you identified that you would hire someone to cut those hedges, highlight it and block time to do this within the next few days
  • What actions are longer term? For example, to change a habit or integrate a new activity or new way of accomplishing something. Here I picked 1-2 priority areas to focus on for each category. It may be tempting to take on more, but you can always come back to this list as a later date, once you have made progress on the other areas

Step 4: Plan for Action and Follow-Up

Now, identify how you will incorporate and achieve those immediate priorities and set yourself a calendar reminder to come back to this plan and see how you are doing in a couple of weeks.

In my following posts, I’ll share how I’m tackling some of my own priority areas.

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“When Breath Becomes Air” written by Paul Kalanithi is my most recent read. The books centres on Paul’s questioning of what makes a meaningful life and his unique perspective as a neurosurgeon.For Paul, this question becomes much more acute when faced with his own inoperable cancer diagnosis in his mid thirties. The story is moving, and inspiring, and a reminder that one certainty of this life is that death does come for us all, when just do not know when or how. 
Despite this, we typically make plans and goals and hopes and dreams for our lives based on the long term view, with an assumed terrain of what resources we will have available to us, the environment we’ll be in, our health and competing challenges. But we do that alongside the reality and likelihood, that this context can change at any time. If this can happen, and will in fact happen to many of us, how then do we make a path forward and what’s the value in it, knowing the steps we have taken may be rendered obsolete?
“Life is lived one day at a time”
as Paul says. Rather than living solely for the future, we need to find meaning and be present in the here and now. Secondly, we need to build our stores and resilience to embrace the curve balls life will throw at us.
If you aren’t planning on reading the book, do take a few minutes to read Paul’s article from the New York Times “is it safe to buy viagra online canadian pharmacy“.

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This was my first week back at work after a 10-month maternity leave. As much as I missed my little guy, – wow – it felt grand to put on some corporate attire and spend the day using my brain for non-baby related subjects.

As I sat through a full day of catch up meetings, the realization dawned on me “I am replaceable – utterly and completely replaceable.” With all the new activities in the works and existing projects that had moved forward, it was clear that I, personally, am not an essential cog in the machine. Yes – my particular mix of skill sets and personality and approach to work is unique, but that doesn’t make me irreplaceable.

And in fact, with someone else’s unique bag of attributes, there are pieces that would be achieved even better, than with my skill set.

Did this make me feel threatened? At one point it undoubtedly would have. But right now, it is an exceptionally freeing thought. First, that I am fortunate to be surrounded by a such a strong group of capable and committed people, and secondly, that should I decide that both motherhood and demanding career are not for me, I can let my current job go guilt free. Because, while I am certain that I am replaceable in the role I play for my organization, I am even more certain that I am utterly irreplaceable in the role I play for my son.

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‘What keeps me going is goals.” – Muhammad Ali

What is it that you want to achieve, become or be known for before you die?

About once every few years I go through the process of writing a new life list for myself. I find it helps me to reevaluate what I want from life and where I am in achieving it.

The big question I aim to answer is “When I die, what will I have achieved, become or be known for that will signify I lived my life successfully?”

This year I invited my husband to join me in the exercise. We each needed to come up with our own list of 100 items. The rule was that once we started the list, we had to finish it the same day. The beauty of this is that the first 20 were pretty easy, but once those goals I already knew about were out, I had to go more deeply and broadly. One of my personal rules of doing this is not to evaluate my desire as to whether it’s actually possible to achieve – the point of this step is to recognize that “X” is something I want for my life. It wasn’t easy, but around 10:30 I had my 100 and headed off to bed.

My husband is a scientist – very logical and practical. I had to push him a bit to participate and he only probably agreed to humour me, but the next morning he spoke enthusiastically of his list and suggested that I go through mine and categorize it, as he did his. Once I did this step, I could see a huge shift from a few years ago in what I see as important for my life’s happiness.

For example, previously my career goals were achievement and recognition oriented – getting a certain position, building my credentials, reaching a particular pay grade. This time around my career related goals focus on connections and developing and mentoring others to achieve their goals. Part of this shift is undoubtedly due to reaching many of those earlier goals (see – these lists do work!), but also I think the result of spending time with my father in his last days and seeing that at the end what he valued most was the love he had given to and received from others.

As the first time doing this exercise as a mother, things I want to do with Cohen, or teach him, are front and centre. In fact, I had to go back and add some goals that were purely for my own enjoyment.

My husband and I exchanged lists and found that we shared many of the same goals. Also, we each had some goals that the other really wanted us to achieve and would support us in, and had both named things we wanted to change in ourselves to make us a better spouse. All in all, it was a very rewarding exercise and doing it together made it moreso.

So, if a life list is something you want to create for yourself (and I strongly encourage you to do so), here are a few pointers to get you started:

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1)   Set aside a day where you will be rested, have time to focus on yourself and ideally in a setting where you feel inspired and can relax (this time around I was at my parent’s cottage, but other times the locations that have worked for me have been coffee shops, the backyard and the bath).

2)   At the beginning of your day get your blank piece of paper ready. To help you pull out your desires and wishes for your life consider these questions:

  • When I die, what will I have achieved, become or be known for that will signify I lived my life successfully?
  • What are some of the skills I want to build in my life?
  • What am I passionate about?
  • What are the things that got me really excited as a child?

A few don’ts:

  • Don’t shy away from including goals that sounds like a long shot – suspend judgment and evaluation for the time being. The point of this is to note the desire is there, so if flying to the moon is a goal of yours then include it.
  • Don’t shy away from things that seem small or silly. Learning to do latte art appeared on my life list.
  • Don’t be afraid to be selfish. This is YOUR life list – it’s about YOU, so if there is something you want this is the place to name it.
  • Don’t be discouraged if you can only come up with a few initially – ponder it throughout your day and the others will come.

3)   As you go about your day, include activities where you are able to let your mind relax – this might be going for a walk or run, playing an instrument, meditating, gardening, cooking, having a nap… but something that refreshes you and puts you in the frame of mind to connect with yourself.

4)   As you build your list, make sure that it includes items from all the facets of life that are important to you – family, friends, career, health, personal, community…

Sometimes we have been running on autopilot or focusing on others for so long that we’ve lost the ability to identify our own desires and dreams. A fantastic resource is Creating Your Best Life by Caroline Adams Miller and Dr. Michael B. Frisch – it provides a research based approach to creating a life list that is supported by stories and exercises to help you deeply evaluate what is important to you.

5)   Don’t go to sleep until you have your 100.

6)   The next day review your list. A good life list should give you direction, hope and excitement for the future. Because life really is in the journey, not the outcome, make sure you have set goals that you will enjoy the process of achieving. Although completing the Ironman will give you a stamp of athleticism, if the idea of all that training fills you with dread, then maybe that goal needs some tweaking. Ask yourself what is was about that goal that made you write it down, and where else could you get a similar outcome, but a different process to achieve it.

7)   You may want to categorize you goals like my husband and I did. I used career, parenting, marriage, family and friends, personal, health, community and creative but you will come up with your own.

8)   Think about timing for each goal – are there some that you can and want to start working on immediately? Identify some steps you can take towards them right away.

9)   Share your list with someone else. When we share out goals with others it helps to keep us accountable and makes us more likely to achieve them. Post your list somewhere prominent where you will see it regularly and be reminded of your goals. During my mat leave, I set goals for the 10 months I was on leave and posted them on the fridge. Every time someone was invited into our house they saw that list and asked me about it.

Congratulations! You now have a lift list. There are many resources for refining your life lists and working towards your goals. In future blog posts I’ll share a bit around goal achievement.