In my cheap priligy priligy, I talk about how I had mixed emotions upon finding out I was pregnant with my first baby. However, I was one of those moms that was lucky to feel a bond with her baby from the moment I first held him.
His first days were a bit of a nightmare, going from a lung infection to jaundice to what appeared to be a heart defect. There was a day in his first week where we thought we may only have a few hours or days left with the little person who had already captured our hearts. In the private family room of the hospital, my husband and I tearfully tried to comfort each other. Together we realized that we couldn’t control the outcome and we were already so blessed to love this beautiful little boy. We resolved to enjoy each precious moment we had with him and be the best parents possible for however long he stayed with us. Returning to the ICU we focused on admiring his perfect little hands and feet, remarking on the surprising myriad of expressions he could produce at only a few days old, breathing in his new baby scent during the moments that we were able to hold him and cherishing the bond we already felt when he looked into our eyes. Knowing that those moments might be all we would have, we focused on those tiny, sweet details and were able to let go of what possibilities were ahead. Luckily, within a few days we were told his condition wasn’t life threatening and he would eventually grow out of it, but the lessons we learned during those difficult few days have stuck with me.
The practice of looking for the joy in the now requires letting go of focusing on the outcome. Being a goal oriented person myself, this requires discipline and often I work myself into a tizzy striving for some hypothetical future before I’m able to take a step back and focus on what’s happening right at that moment. But with practice I have found myself admiring and savouring the beauty in so many everyday moments. Now I as sit on the patio typing my first post, I am conscious of the birds chirping, the morning shade on what will be a hot August day, the bitter pleasure of my first coffee of the day, the satisfaction in seeing the words in my head appear on the screen in front of me. There is so much joy and happiness to be found in life’s journey if only we take the care to notice it.